Sharing her #mumguilt story this week is the lovely Emily from Babies and Beauty. Her blog is beautiful and her recent post about how to clean with a baby is definitely worth a look – I could definitely take some tips! 

Hi guys, my name is Emily and I’m a mother to Noah who’s almost 3 and Patrick who is 12 weeks old. And my Mum guilt is just that, P is 12 weeks old when in fact he should only be 6-8 weeks. 

Patrick was born prematurely and after having an overdue baby in Noah, completely blindsided us. Rewind back to me at 29 weeks pregnant, waking up in the night to what we thought might have been my waters breaking, we gave it 24 hours and then visited our local triage who dismissed it as actually I’d just ‘wet myself’. But something inside me knew this wasn’t true, I’d had a baby before I knew what waters going felt like, this was uncontrollable. But these were doctors and nurses, I’d been examined surely they knew more than me? So I ignored it, to find out 4 weeks later on a growth scan that my baby needed to come out ASAP as I had been right, my front waters had broken over a month ago. 

Unfortunately P then spent a week battling for his life, it was horrendous and the guilt was and still is unimaginable – why wasn’t I more pushy? Why didn’t I insist to be seen again, a second opinion? Maybe If I had of we wouldn’t of been in this situation, and my son wouldn’t have had to deal with lumbar punctures, and lung procedures. 

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but making sure I give him 110%, no matter how tired or down I’m feeling, doesn’t make the guilt go away but it makes it easier to forget.

Thank you so much to Emily for sharing her story! You can find Emily here:

Blog – http://www.babiesandbeauty.com/

Twitter – http://twitter.com/babiesanbeauty

Instagram – http://instagram.com/babiesandbeautyx

You Tube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0fEovuNWHmtr36ZxkxzkDg

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This week I’m very excited to introduce a second blogging beauty to this corner of the Internet – Aurélie from Bump & Blush – she’s currently doing the 30 days of gratitude challenge which I’ve really being enjoying keeping up with, definitely one to check out! So, since you can read my rambles over here everyday of the week, here’s my second guest #mumguilt post….
My name is Aurélie and I am a mummy to Kai, 16 months and currently 7 months pregnant.My mom guilt is steered towards my unborn child…

There is something about a first pregnancy that is just sort of magical. Everyone is excited, I read all the books about pregnancy and beyond. I spent hours daydreaming of what my little one will look like, 9 months of ups and downs but 9 months to form a special bond. I was filled with an anticipation that will likely remain unmatched for the rest of my life.

During my first pregnancy, I always knew how far I was and could tell you exactly the size of the baby…Oh this week, it’s an avocado. For this pregnancy, things are noticeably different. It’s not necessarily a “bad” type of different, just different…a lot different.
Now that I’m more than 30 weeks pregnant, I feel more uncomfortable and tired but to be real honest with you, before I forgot I was pregnant half the time with baby number two. The only time I really remember is when I got sharp pains after getting up. I just did not have time to sit around and just think about being pregnant. My days are so busy, I work from home and if I am not working I am running after my toddler praying he does not break the house! One thing is sure this second pregnancy is flying compared to the first one.
I do feel guilty sometimes because I feel I did not have time to enjoy this pregnancy, I did not really bond with you, nothing is really prepared for you, if you’re a boy, you will get the hand-me-downs from your big brother, if you are a girl, the shopping spree will start as soon as you will be born.
I know a lot of first time mums worried about loving as much their second child as their first. I understand the worry as you give everything to your little one but I know I have so much love to give and really can’t wait to be a family of four! I can’t wait for you to be in my arms, to see you smile and to play with your big brother.
Thank you so much to Aurélie for sharing her #mumguilt story, I really enjoyed reading! You can find more of Aurélie here:
http://www.bumpandblush.com
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/bumpandblush/

Twitter – @bumpandblush

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/bumpandblush/
If you’d like to share your #mumguilt woes please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!

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baby-showWhile I was pregnant Carl and I had great plans for my maternity leave. He’s self-employed so has almost complete freedom when it comes to taking holidays so we were going to make the most of my new found freedom and take impromptu trips away, should it take our fancy. Well I can report that eight months in, all we’ve managed was a pre-arranged trip to Norfolk with my family.

So when an invite to the Baby & Toddler Show landed in my inbox, I thought I’d throw caution to the wind and include an overnight stay. The northern show just happens to be in Manchester, which holds a special place in our hearts as it’s where we spent our first non-wedding-night night as a married couple before jetting off on our honeymoon – sorry if I made your brain hurt with that mouthful – so I’m very excited to return to our second favourite city as a family.

The show runs 7-9th October and has a pretty impressive line up of brands, including Bugaboo, Cybex, Joolz, Mamas & Papas, Silver Cross & Maxi Cosi to name but a few – we’re in the market for a new car seat so the timing is perfect.  There are expert speakers, products to test, a midwife drop in and, if that hasn’t sold it to you – a goody bag for all new mums and mums-to-be.

If you’d like to win tickets to the show, I have two to giveaway, valid for any date you chose. All you need to do is hit the Rafflecopter link below, and leave a comment telling me what your all time favourite baby / toddler products is!

If you don’t win tickets you can purchase with 1/3 off with the code BTN31.

If you’ll be at the Baby and Toddler Show let me know, it would be great to meet so fellow mamas!

I wish you the best of luck, but never fear, as if you don’t win you can book adult tickets for 1/3 off with the code BTN31

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Mummuddlingthrough

 

Diary of an imperfect mum
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Henry exploring, checking Mummy is still following

‘You’re still there Mummy, yes?’

I know what you’re thinking… there’s no time for sleep. That’s why we’re all walking around with matchsticks propping our eyes open, delirious from a combination of multiple night wakings and a third coffee before 9am, but hear me out…

The past few weeks have been reminiscent of the newborn days in terms of how utterly exhausted I feel. Henry’s changed so much in the last few months with teething, weaning, becoming mobile, there’s no wonder he’s up in the night, he’s adjusting to life as he’s never experienced before, which must be overwhelming, and he wants to explore.

While I can’t pretend I’m not finding spending the night in and out of bed difficult, it has occurred to me that one day I’ll long to be needed by him in the same way he needs me now, to be the one he wants when he’s upset, for him to be happiest when he’s being cuddled to sleep and when he spends everyday learning something new right before my eyes.

Rather than wish away the days, I’m trying to embrace these moments, some of my favourites being:

  1. How he puts his hand in my mouth when he’s having a feed, he likes to flap my lips, he likes it when I suck his fingers and pretend to bite his little hand. I love to see his little mouth curl into a smile and take a break from sucking to let out a little giggle.
  2. When he cries* out in the night and breaks into a smile, immediately consoled by a cuddle from his Mama.
  3. How keen he is to be off, but how he’s always looking back to see if I’m still there, and how much he smiles when I ask him where he’s going.
  4. How singing ‘five little ducks’ (almost!) always remedies crankiness.
  5. When he’s exploring, gets a little carried away and smacks himself in the nose with one of his toys. He pauses, a little confused, then his bottom lip pops out* and he looks at me for a cuddle which obviously I’m always happy to oblige, and then he’s back on his way and I’m close behind.
  6. We go for a walk, but he’s eager to be as close to the action as possible so wants to be carried, making the it tougher on my arms than my legs. Obviously the only time he’s happy in the pushchair is the one time I remember the baby carrier….
  7. When he’s been dodging sleep all day, then when it all gets too much he falls asleep nestled into my neck.
  8. When he grabs my cheeks with his whole hands, smiles, then bites my chin.
  9. How hilarious he finds it to be thrown in the air, even better if we sing ‘The Grand Old Duke of York’ to him at the same time.
  10. How even when I’m at my tiredest, when I feel like I could sleep for a week and when I can feel myself becoming ratty, hearing his giggle or seeing him smile makes me feel a million times better.

So I’m embracing these moments, they’ll be over too quickly. There will always be time to sleep.

*Obviously I don’t like it when he cries,  I’m not a sicko, but it’s just nice to be able to make him feel better.

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I’m not normally one to rant but I’ve been on the receiving end of a few bizarre questions which first cropped up when I was pregnant, as though people seem to have lost some kind of filter that sifts out questions that aren’t really, or shouldn’t be socially acceptable.  Below are a few corkers I’ve been blessed with being on the receiving end of:

‘Was it planned?’

I lost count of how many times this was the immediate response to telling someone I was with child. FYI – ‘congratulations’ is the polite response. Would you ever go up to a person in the street and ask them if their parents consciously decided to have them or if they were the result of a contraceptive failure? Of course not, because it’s irrelevant.

‘You’re huge. Are you sure you’re not having twins?’

This requires very little explanation. Just because a woman is pregnant you do not have the right to comment on her size.

‘Are you sure you ‘x’ weeks? Your bump is so small’

As above. Someone actually followed that comment to me with, ‘are you sure you’re eating enough? Think of your baby’. Erm.. yes, I eat plenty thank you. I also google everything I eat to make sure it poses no risk to my unborn baby. My midwife is happy but thank you for your unprofessional opinion.

Are you breastfeeding?

This is a tricky one because I believe breastfeeding should be the norm, and for that to be the case it has to be talked about. What I’m referring to here is a stranger asking this question with a cloud of judgement hovering overhead. It’s not their business and some mums tried desperately to breastfeed and it didn’t work out as planned.  They’re devastated and the questioning just serves as a constant reminder.

‘Can your child roll / crawl / walk / talk / yet?’

My child will do these things when they are good and ready! Asking this of a child is comparable to asking a woman over the age of 25 if she’s engaged yet. Really annoying – babies don’t need pressure. And when was the last time you were asked as an adult at what age you did any of those things?

When are you having another?

Let’s just concentrate on this one for now thank you. My epistiotomy hasn’t even healed yet…

Do you have any annoying questions to add?

This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

Two Tiny Hands
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