Inappropriate questions.

I’m not normally one to rant but I’ve been on the receiving end of a few bizarre questions which first cropped up when I was pregnant, as though people seem to have lost some kind of filter that sifts out questions that aren’t really, or shouldn’t be socially acceptable.  Below are a few corkers I’ve been blessed with being on the receiving end of:

‘Was it planned?’

I lost count of how many times this was the immediate response to telling someone I was with child. FYI – ‘congratulations’ is the polite response. Would you ever go up to a person in the street and ask them if their parents consciously decided to have them or if they were the result of a contraceptive failure? Of course not, because it’s irrelevant.

‘You’re huge. Are you sure you’re not having twins?’

This requires very little explanation. Just because a woman is pregnant you do not have the right to comment on her size.

‘Are you sure you ‘x’ weeks? Your bump is so small’

As above. Someone actually followed that comment to me with, ‘are you sure you’re eating enough? Think of your baby’. Erm.. yes, I eat plenty thank you. I also google everything I eat to make sure it poses no risk to my unborn baby. My midwife is happy but thank you for your unprofessional opinion.

Are you breastfeeding?

This is a tricky one because I believe breastfeeding should be the norm, and for that to be the case it has to be talked about. What I’m referring to here is a stranger asking this question with a cloud of judgement hovering overhead. It’s not their business and some mums tried desperately to breastfeed and it didn’t work out as planned.  They’re devastated and the questioning just serves as a constant reminder.

‘Can your child roll / crawl / walk / talk / yet?’

My child will do these things when they are good and ready! Asking this of a child is comparable to asking a woman over the age of 25 if she’s engaged yet. Really annoying – babies don’t need pressure. And when was the last time you were asked as an adult at what age you did any of those things?

When are you having another?

Let’s just concentrate on this one for now thank you. My epistiotomy hasn’t even healed yet…

Do you have any annoying questions to add?

This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

Two Tiny Hands
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18 Comments

  1. September 13, 2016 / 9:16 am

    People can be so rude….They see a pregnant or new baby and their mouths just run away with them.

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 10:04 pm

      Yes! If it’s not questions it’s story sharing! x

  2. September 14, 2016 / 10:59 am

    The questions don’t ever stop do they?! My fav was – are you going back to work? – Like raising a child is some kind of holiday! great post #familyfun

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 10:02 pm

      Or probably if you do go back to work – what will you do on your day off? I don’t have a day off! x

  3. September 14, 2016 / 5:45 pm

    Don’t you just love how pregnancy and children bring everyone so close. Someone in the store who may have a baby now thinks since you are pregnant or have a child you are their best friend and no question is inappropriate… NOT. #familyfun

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 10:01 pm

      I don’t know what it is?! Thank you for commenting! x

  4. September 14, 2016 / 7:16 pm

    My favourite when you tell people your pregnant is ‘ i didnt know you where trying ‘ . What ? You didnt get my newsletter documenting our nights humps ????? People are very stange !!! #FamilyFun

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 10:01 pm

      Haha! THis made me laugh! Thank you for your comment! x

  5. September 15, 2016 / 8:18 am

    Oh goodness yes, people seem to ask all sorts of things, mine are at school now but one memory which stands out is people wanting to touch my belly when I was pregnant which I never liked. Strange how people think they can do that.

    mainy

    #FamilyFun

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 9:58 pm

      Yes! When else would you ever touch someones belly?! x

  6. September 15, 2016 / 7:35 pm

    Ooooh yes I have been there. Having got pregnant with my second very quickly after my first we were certainly no stranger to – ‘was it planned’. Or more often ‘are you crazy’? Thanks then, like you say I am sure the correct response is congratulations! Mad what some people say eh, at least we’re all in together…. Thanks for linking with us at #familyfun, hope to see you again next week xx

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 9:55 pm

      When you’re asked about contraception everytime you see the midwife or health visitor in the first months – I might want another baby straightaway thank you very much! Thank you for commenting and hosting! x

  7. September 16, 2016 / 6:23 pm

    I hear you! It’s like all common sense hoes out the window!!! Is it a boy or a girl? Annoying question before and after birth!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 9:49 pm

      Yes! Thank you! x

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 19, 2016 / 6:57 pm

      I’ve just had a read of your post! There are some corkers in there! What are people thinking?! x

  8. September 17, 2016 / 2:05 pm

    “Ohh what are you hoping for?” My answer to this is always “a boy or a girl.”
    As a mother of a child with learning disabilities I have learnt that it is really tragic that we are expected to hope for either gender of a child. Just hope for a happy, healthy child that you can devote your love to. A xx

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 19, 2016 / 6:52 pm

      I feel like I should add that one in! Or since I’ve had a boy I’ve had a lot of, ‘do you want a girl next?’. No, I actually still don’t mind. I really didn’t mind if I had a boy or a girl, I just wanted a happy, healthy baby and I’m so lucky to have my little boy. I couldn’t agree more with your comment! x

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