Here’s the second in my #mumguilt series. I find myself feeling guilty for so much it’s hard to pick just one a week but here goes…

Its ok to sometimes miss your old life. What I found the hardest about becoming a parent was the adjustment to my everyday life, everything changed in ways I never imagined. Even simple things like having to find a lift in a shopping centre rather than hopping onto the nearest escalator or forgetting something from the supermarket and not being able to just shoot back.

Funnily enough, the thought of never using an escalator again in the near future never entered my mind.

Funnily enough, the thought of never using an escalator again in the near future never entered my mind.

Overall I’m so much happier in my life now than I’ve ever been, more often than not I reach the end of the day and I’m sad to see the end of it. I know I’ll look back on our first year together so fondly and I want to relish every second I can with Henry. He’s growing so quickly, watching his cheeky little character develop is fascinating and I’m so thankful to have him. But it is hard work, I’m constantly exhausted and I never have a second to myself. Occasionally, after a few difficult nights when I’m really tired, my mind wanders back to a time where I could have a long, uninterrupted bubble bath followed by a full nights sleep and I feel a bit sad. Partly because there are parts of my old life that I didn’t envisage would become a thing of the past, and partly because I know how lucky I am to have such an amazing little boy and I feel guilty for wanting a little bit more sleep. We should be free to reminisce without a guilty cloud hanging over our heads, it doesn’t mean we’d have it any other way, more often that not it just means we’re tired.

 

A Mum Track Mind
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
reflections from me
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When you become a mum for the first time, not only do you acquire a feeling of love towards your baby you never thought possible, you also acquire a feeling of guilt that follows you around everywhere.

I think it’s about time we gave ourselves a break. So every Friday I’ll be shaking off something I feel #mumguilt for with my new ‘It’s ok…‘ series. So here goes….

Remembering we love each other on our first date in six months

Remembering we love each other on our first date in six months.

It’s ok if you go out on a date with your husband / boyfriend / partner once in a while. My husband and I went out on our first date in six months last Saturday and had a blast. I felt tremendously guilty for leaving our son with his Nanan (who’s amazing with him!) so we could go and have some fun without him. But it was just what we needed after six months of being just parents, rather than husband and wife. It reminded us why we’re in the position that we’re in, we still like each other and we enjoy each others company. For a few hours it felt like it did before we became parents, which is why we became parents in the first place. So it’s ok to go out sans baby once in a while. It’s actually good for baby. Happy parents = happy baby and isn’t that every parent’s goal anyway?

The Pramshed
Reflections From Me
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  1. There is no medal for enduring labour without pain relief. If you want the drugs, take the drugs. I was determined to use only gas & air, my TENS machine and water. 12 hours in I broke my TENS machine. 20 hours in, having had 4 hours sleep the last 40 and getting to that point with only bathwater as relief I was exhausted and crying for the epidural…and the diamorphine when the epidural wasn’t available quickly enough. And I’d do it again next time.
  2. NEVER GOOGLE. I’m a worrier (I blame my mother), but I scared myself silly more times than I care to remember in the early weeks. If in doubt, see a real doctor or midwife, not Doctor Internet.
  3. Enjoy being bored, because you’ll never again be able to make that complaint. It also goes without saying to make the most of lazy weekend mornings. I think I’ve laid on my sofa once in the last six months.
  4. Take opportunities for days out or mini breaks with partners, friends and family, it won’t be as easy for a while.
  5. Babies do not feed & sleep in a Gina Ford-esque fashion. You cannot fathom a pattern and it’s best to go with the flow. It’s also NORMAL for your baby to be happiest on you. My brain, filled with feeding-sleeping-pattern nonsense, thought something wasn’t right, made worse with midwives expressing shock night after night when my baby would not stop feeding. I genuinely think this played a part in my ability to breastfeed.
  6. A top and tail bowl is the most useless piece of equipment and I have never used it. It’s a good job they only cost a few quid.
  7. As above, shaped swaddle blankets. Utter crap.
  8. It’s ok to cry. I was pretty pleased if I managed three days in a row without tears. PND played on my mind a lot, and thankfully I wasn’t affected but I think it would be useful to prepare new mums for the emotional roller-coaster, and helping them to recognise if something isn’t right.
  9. You’ll cope, and you’ll enjoy it.
  10. Despite your horror at the labour photos presented at your NCT class, you won’t give a flying fart about being naked during childbirth, it really is the last thing on your mind. In fact, if it would speed things along you’d do a few nude laps around the hospital.
You Baby Me Mummy
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