Squint Surgery

Henry running down the drive

    Clearly feeling much better, chasing the dog down the drive.

So I know just the other day I said I’m no longer a worrier. But… no sooner had the keyboard cooled from my from my frantic ‘write everything quick before naptime ends’ type-fest, did I start worrying about the thing that I’ve known was happening for a while but put to the back of my mind to avoid bursting into tears because last Tuesday Henry had surgery to correct his squint.

Everyone around me was so calm about it, it’s a common procedure, you’re home the same day and you’d probably be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t know of someone who’s had squint surgery. His doctor – who’s incredible – was so blase about it, although I’m not sure I’d want any other attitude as there’s no way I’d let anyone with an inch of doubt as to his capabilities anywhere near my baby’s eyes with a sharp object. Nevertheless my heart actually hurt everytime I thought about it.

Despite having fasted, Henry was in such good spirits before the surgery, playing in the waiting room blissfully unaware of what was to come which made his pain when he woke up all the more heartbreaking. He’d been relieved of his hanger when he drifted of to sleep, alarmingly quickly and I left the theatre in tears to wait out the longest 90 minutes of my life. He woke up with closed, swollen eyes covered in ointment and his tears were blood stained, crying hunger, confusion and pain. We gave him his milk, having to restrain his arms from rubbing his eyes – let me tell you, preventing a child from rubbing their eyes is up there with trying to cut their toenails; nigh on impossible.

The rest of the day was a blur, we went home he spent most of the day asleep, or trying to open his eyes and immediately crying. Although he ate a chicken dinner with his eyes closed which I thought was pretty impressive, clearly it’ll take a bit more then strabismus surgery to put Henners off his food.

Watching my baby in pain was the hardest thing I’ve had to do so far as his Mama. I felt guilty that I’d chosen for him to be where he was. I’d chosen for him to be put to sleep and I’d chosen for him to wake up sore and confused. We could’ve chosen to wait until he was a little older, when we could’ve explained what was happening to him. But we’d decided to do it now, when he’d not understand why he’d gone to sleep and woken up uncomfortable, in hope that he won’t remember anything when he’s older.

It wasn’t just the surgery we want him to forget, we’d chosen to operate earlier to avoid Henry hearing comments we’ve heard about his eyes. A few weeks ago we were in a coffee shop with my mum and she overheard two fully grown women whispering about Henry’s squint as we were leaving. When she told me, after the initial mother-bear-protecting-her-cub style rage, I felt a little more confident we’d made the right decision for our little boy. It wasn’t the first time, and it’s only a matter of time before Henry hears comments, whispers and stares. He’s a growing into a happy, sociable and outgoing toddler and I can’t bear the thought of his confidence being knocked before he’s even found his feet in the world.

So I hope that when he’s older Henry feels we’ve made the right choice for him. We had a tough few days but by Saturday he was back to his usual cheeky self, terrorising the feral pug and generally making himself very busy running up and down, doing his best to dodge his four-times-daily eye drops. He was quite happy revisiting the hospital for his check up on Friday so I’m hopeful that he’s already forgotten the experience and it’s not one that he’ll have to go through again, although we’ll have to wait until his check up in a few months to see.

I’ve never spoken about it here before, I’m not really sure why. I think it’s because I know that it’s a drop in the ocean compared to what some families are going through and I’m conscious of that. But I found the experience tough and I’ve not seen alot in the blogosphere about squint surgery, despite how common it is so thought I’d share my thoughts just on the off chance that my ramblings might be of help to someone else.

Has your little one ever had squint surgery? I’d love to hear your experiences.

Squint Surgery - a toughhttp://nowmynameismummy.com/index.php/2017/02/19/tough-mothering-day/

 

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12 Comments

  1. February 20, 2017 / 6:49 am

    Claire I had a little cry reading this! I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to see Henry in so much pain. I’m glad he’s feeling better, it’s not nice to see our babies sad. Henry has always been a gorgeous baby but like you say hopefully now he can continue to grow and develop into a confident little boy!

    I’m actually a little outraged by the way those women acted. How you managed to not go back and give them a peace of your mind is beyond me!
    #marvmondays

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      February 25, 2017 / 10:41 pm

      Thank you! I know, I think that’s why my mum waited to tell me until we were well around the corner! X

  2. February 20, 2017 / 7:17 am

    I can’t stand how people look and judge and comment. We had it alot with Oliver and I hated it. Well done for being brave and going through with the procedure. I’m sure it was the right thing to do and he’ll not remember it either. Bless him eating dinner with his eyes shut! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      February 25, 2017 / 10:42 pm

      Thank you for your comment. People can be mean so I hope we’ve made the right decision xx

  3. Jude Foster
    February 20, 2017 / 2:45 pm

    Claire you made Heners nannie cry again. It was a very difficult week watching my beautiful grandson suffering and also my beautiful daughter and son in law. So glad it’s this week and not last xx

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      February 25, 2017 / 10:43 pm

      Oh Jude, it doesn’t take much does it?! X

  4. February 21, 2017 / 7:21 am

    He is simply beautiful. It is just so very hard to know your baby is hurting; whether it be physically or emotionally and you cant just swoop in and ‘fix’ it. A brave decision; good on you. #TwinklyTuesday

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      February 25, 2017 / 10:45 pm

      Thank you very much for your lovely comment x

  5. February 22, 2017 / 7:07 pm

    Oh wow bless you both what a tough day that must have been for Henry and you and dad! I can imagine how you must have felt seeing him all upset by hats off mate eating your dinner with your eyes closed, that’s a skill. I’m pleased to read he’s doing much better now and back to his old self and good on you for sharing. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      February 25, 2017 / 10:46 pm

      Thank you lovely! X

  6. Now my Name is Mummy
    February 25, 2017 / 10:49 pm

    Thank you for your lovely comment, he’s much better now so hopefully it’ll have worked and we won’t have to do it again! X

  7. February 27, 2017 / 8:16 pm

    Aaaw I am so sad reading this – it really is such a tough thing to have to watch your child go through. My daughter has also had several surgeries and it doesn’t get any easier. I found one of the hardest parts to be when you’re holding them as they’re anaesthatised and they suddenly go limp in your arms. And then you have to walk out of the room and leave them behind. It’s horrible! I’m glad Henry has bounced back so well and I hope that this is a thorough fix for him #blogcrush

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