Sharing her #mumguilt story this week is the lovely Emily from Babies and Beauty. Her blog is beautiful and her recent post about how to clean with a baby is definitely worth a look – I could definitely take some tips! 

Hi guys, my name is Emily and I’m a mother to Noah who’s almost 3 and Patrick who is 12 weeks old. And my Mum guilt is just that, P is 12 weeks old when in fact he should only be 6-8 weeks. 

Patrick was born prematurely and after having an overdue baby in Noah, completely blindsided us. Rewind back to me at 29 weeks pregnant, waking up in the night to what we thought might have been my waters breaking, we gave it 24 hours and then visited our local triage who dismissed it as actually I’d just ‘wet myself’. But something inside me knew this wasn’t true, I’d had a baby before I knew what waters going felt like, this was uncontrollable. But these were doctors and nurses, I’d been examined surely they knew more than me? So I ignored it, to find out 4 weeks later on a growth scan that my baby needed to come out ASAP as I had been right, my front waters had broken over a month ago. 

Unfortunately P then spent a week battling for his life, it was horrendous and the guilt was and still is unimaginable – why wasn’t I more pushy? Why didn’t I insist to be seen again, a second opinion? Maybe If I had of we wouldn’t of been in this situation, and my son wouldn’t have had to deal with lumbar punctures, and lung procedures. 

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but making sure I give him 110%, no matter how tired or down I’m feeling, doesn’t make the guilt go away but it makes it easier to forget.

Thank you so much to Emily for sharing her story! You can find Emily here:

Blog – http://www.babiesandbeauty.com/

Twitter – http://twitter.com/babiesanbeauty

Instagram – http://instagram.com/babiesandbeautyx

You Tube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0fEovuNWHmtr36ZxkxzkDg

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Whoopsy…so I didn’t mean to be away for quite so long. Somehow over two weeks have past since I last put fingertips to keyboard and I’d like to say I have loads to fill you in on… but no. Our nap schedule has gone completely out of the window so my time in the house is now spent chasing a very active, into-everything nine-month old, who could easily win gold if staying awake were an olympic sport and my evenings have been spent rocking in a corner with my knees under my chin …just kidding… watching all of the dramas on TV. The Missing, Our Girl, The Level… Autumn TV is just TOO GOOD. 

So last week Carl took the week off work. We’d planned a few nights away, a few days out, long walks and lazy afternoons… a staycation if you will. We had a great week, meningitis scare aside (Carl not Henry) but all of the below are likely to happen when Daddy takes a week off:

  1. You both get carried away with the misconception that you’re in for an easier week than normal. Mummy thinks that Daddy can help get up in the night because he doesn’t have to get up for work. Daddy thinks he’s on holiday, so should be able to lie in everyday. Mummy reminds him that holidays from parenting don’t exist. If there were ever a recipe for parental arguments, this little case of crossed wires would produce quite the stew.
  2. You realise that somehow it’s easier to singlehandedly get out of the door with your baby paraphernalia (and your baby) than it is with another person in tow who just doesn’t know your processes – ALWAYS PUT THE BABY IN THE CAR LAST!
  3. Trying to explain why things need to be done by a certain time falls on deaf ears; ‘We need to have left by then or we’ll still be in the car at lunchtime’. ‘Why’s he crying?’ ‘Because it’s lunchtime. That’s why I said we should’ve left earlier’. *Sigh*
  4. Your normal routine goes out of the window and you’re having so much fun that your already excessive washing pile reaches Empire State Building like proportions and by Thursday no one has any clean clothes.
  5. You eat too much. Or just eat. Because, you knowyou have time to.
  6. You can wee alone. Most of the time.
  7. The end of the week comes and you wonder how in the world you’re going to solo parent for five whole days.

 

Two Tiny Hands
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Joining me this week is the lovely Kirsty from More of Me. Not only is Kirsty’s blog great, she also makes great You Tube videos so be sure to check those out! She’s also the owner of a very beautiful Instagram feed, the kind that make me want to take photography lessons. Anyway, here’s Kirsty great post…

MUM GUILT: PLAYING WITH TECHNOLOGY

In my totally unstable pregnant mind my child would play only with wooden toys, have bedtime stories in the rocking chair and would be taught words, colours and shapes via toddler flashcards. There would be no TV and most definitely no iPads or other tablet devices, absolutely no way! I was clearly deluded (like most first time mummies probably are).
Fast forward two years later and here I am sat watching my toddler scroll through HIS youtube feed selecting which little clip of utter nonsense he wants to watch next. I’m clearly on my laptop (I’m writing this) and I have this pang of guilt sitting in the pit of my stomach. It’s not overly nice outside but I’m sure a visit to the park or a stroll to feed the ducks would be much more educational for my little man, but in honesty I can’t be bothered, and now I feel guilty again.
Oscar’s sat there in his element because he’s getting to play with the ‘piepad’, he’s none the wiser that the ducks are starving because we haven’t been to visit them and he’s forgotten there’s a park at the end of the road. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t get the iPad often, usually when he is tired in the afternoons or if by mistake we have left it lying out and he finds it, or if I need to distract him whilst I get something done. For the most part he is happy to play with his toys, in fact he loves it, he loves it when Ian and I get involved and play along with him, the utter joy in his face makes my heart melt.
Sometimes when we’re out and he’s throwing the most epic tantrum I bribe him with my phone. The minute I mention ‘phone’ the tantrum, 9 times out of 10 stops and he’s back to being angel child. I feel guilty about that, why? because I feel like people judge me, I still wonder what people think of me, do they think I am one of those mothers who can’t be bothered to entertain their child so throwing a phone in their face is the answer, do they think that he’s spoilt because he’s ‘getting what he wants’. All of these things make me feel guilty! My Gran rolls her eyes in utter disgust, she thinks technology is a ‘load of nonsense’ in her day kids played outside until supper time. I often question myself, should I allow him at 2 years old to play with these things? I regularly say to my husband that we need to get him out more and I am actively looking for outdoor groups for him to join. I don’t want him to become obsessed with technology so young that nothing else excites him.
Whilst we are nowhere near that stage and the ratio of time playing with his toys more than outweighs the time he gets on the iPad I still feel guilty. Through the guilt though a huge part of me feels like in today’s society it is more accepted and the majority of us allow our children to play with technology in some way. I am not against my son playing with the iPad or my phone, and I am not trying to justify my actions but I do believe there is some value in allowing him to play with the iPad. For example, Oscar is limited to Youtube Kids, it’s a great idea, it means that he can only access content suitable for children, and thankfully he is a huge fan of the nursery rhymes and loves to sing and dance along. He loves watching videos on playdoh, and whilst they may not seem educational, they do in fact help teach him shapes and colours. Through youtube, and I am sure I have touched on this before, his speaking has come on so much from simply listening and repeating.
Aside from all of the above, I do on occasion (like today) feel guilty that I sometimes opt to entertain my son with the iPad but I’m not going to beat myself up about it as really it’s not the end of the world and the reality is, no matter how hard we try to shield them from technology, the future is plagued with it and there’s really no escape. For now I’ll keep it to a minimum.
Do you let your little ones play with technology, if so do you think it’s been beneficial in anyway? Let me know in the comments.
You can find more of Kirsty here…

Blog – http://www.moreofmeblog.co.uk/

You Tube – http://www.youtube.com/moreofmetv

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/moreofmeblog

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/moreofmeblog

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/moreofmeblog

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So things were a little sparse around these parts last week. Sorry Mum. Last week was filled with snot (Henry’s), very little sleep, tears (mainly mine at 2am) and shouting (Henry from his bed after I dared leave him alone for a second on the many occasions he was clearly faking sleep). Henry thankfully seems to be on the mend and I’m now feeling marginally refreshed after having a co-parent for the weekend.
But I’m feeling a little behind in the blogging world. After posting Monday-Friday since I took up this little hobby, I’ve now decided that it’s a bit much, as in I’m running out of things to talk about. And some nights it’s nice to spend the evening watching Coronation Street. So I’m now aiming for 2-3 times a week, a little more do-able when my normally routine is thrown off by a newborn-esqe sleep pattern.
Anyway, I don’t have much to report as the weekend was all about recovery. Saturday began with a much needed lie in which meant I felt significantly more like a functioning human.
On Sunday, after a slightly better nights sleep (albeit the result of 3 in a bed) Henry and I retreated downstairs. Last week I bought him his second ‘That’s not my…’ book in an attempt to occupy him in the supermarket. He’s now finally showing an interest in books again after becoming mobile and refusing to sit still long enough for me to get through a page, and is now looking at them rather than solely attempting to consume them – I’ll skip past the fact that there’s a large chunk missing from a page in ‘That’s Not My Puppy’ – so we read together, played and when he was tired had a cuddle and a nap on the sofa. After a tough mum week it was nice to enjoy him again, rather than being at my wits end with exhaustion and feeling like a terrible mother. But we all have those weeks – amiright?!
We then went to my mums for lasagne before coming home for a chilled evening and an early night.
How was your weekend? More exciting than mine?

Tammymum
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