Phrases exclusive to parents

I sing 'pat-a-cake' a lot more than I used to...Becoming a parent brings a whole host of newness – new baby (obv), new clothes, furniture, decor, routine, vocab…yep, you read correctly. Lately I found all kinds of bizarre words and phrases flowing out of my mouth like milk from a bottle that my pre-motherhood self may have shot more than an eye-roll at:

  1. ‘Has he done a poo?’ ‘ Was it a big one?’ ‘Was it hard?’ ‘Did it have bits in it?’ – Can you imagine asking anyone else for a detailed description of their fecal matter? And worse – in ear shot of anyone and everyone. Or directly to baby – ‘Have you done a stinky poo?’
  2. ‘Don’t eat the rug’
  3. ‘Is he still breathing?’ Again, who else do you ask this about on a daily basis?
  4. ‘Dogs are for stroking not for licking’
  5. ‘You’ve just piddled in the bath so don’t try to drink it’ – ’cause you know, it’s ok to drink if it’s free of urine…
  6. ‘Is that yummy, yummy in your tummy?’ – said with a huge smile to encourage a positive response to all the vegetables.
  7. ‘Five little ducks went swimming one day, over the hill and far away, Mother duck said, ‘QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK’ but only three litt… I mean… four little ducks came back.’ I’m sleep deprived, ok? I must make more effort to remember where I’m up to or the poor boy doesn’t stand a chance where numeracy is concerned.
  8. ‘You sit there while Mummy has a wee.’ *places bouncer in front of the toilet*

And the last few, in dedication to the mobile baby nappy change…

  1. ‘Don’t roll over, Mummy’s trying to change your nappy’
  2. ‘Noooo… don’t put your feet in the poo!’
  3. ‘Don’t undo your nappy, we don’t want poo poo and wee wee everywhere!’ (although it’s so difficult to get a nappy on these days sometimes I feel like cleaning up would be the easier option…)
DomesticatedMomster
The Pramshed
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Rhyming with Wine


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51 Comments

  1. August 25, 2016 / 2:44 pm

    hahaha! Some of the things that come out of my mouth is ridiculous. I hear myself saying things and just shake my head. The joys of parenthood. lol

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 25, 2016 / 8:58 pm

      Thank you for your comment Kim! I know, sometimes I shudder as the words are pouring out! x

  2. August 27, 2016 / 7:25 am

    All very true and believe me it just keeps getting better the older they get! Mine is 4 in December and some of the things I find myself coming out with really is something else! Great little post.

    • August 27, 2016 / 7:33 am

      Forgot to tag #fortheloveofBLOG X

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:37 pm

      Thank you very much for your lovely comment! x

  3. August 27, 2016 / 12:02 pm

    Oh yes to all of this. Sit there while mummy has a wee is a favourite in our house too. That and when someone’s sat in the back with the car seat – is he breathing? I say that a lot as well. Our new one liner is fast becoming ‘do you want a wee wee?’ Or ‘do you want a poo poo on the potty’ – she is yet to do either. We’ll be saying that for a while yet I think. Thanks for linking up to #fortheliveofblog xx

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:36 pm

      Thank you for commenting! I also ask if he’s breathing in the car seat. And if his head is still straight because he has a tendency to twist in a weird way! x

  4. August 27, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    This is too funny! Just this morning I found myself telling my very cranky 14 month old, “Don’t growl at your mama!” #momsterslink

  5. August 27, 2016 / 12:34 pm

    Haha, this is so true. As they get older you will find yourself saying things like lego does not go up your nose lol.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:35 pm

      Haha! Thank you for commenting x

  6. August 27, 2016 / 4:48 pm

    Oh those are great. For me it’s now, yes after your finish your vegetables, yes after you’ve finished your homework, yes after you have tidied your room… and the list goes on! #fortheloveofBlog

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:34 pm

      There are probably a few new phrases added each year. Maybe I’ll do another in a year and see what’s changed! x

  7. August 27, 2016 / 6:51 pm

    Ha ha, brilliant, so funny because it’s so true! I always mess up the 5 little ducks song too! #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:33 pm

      Thank you, I’m glad you liked it! x

  8. August 27, 2016 / 9:15 pm

    I don’t think my wife and I had a single conversation for the first year that didn’t at some point circle back to talking about poop in some form or another #momsterlink

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:33 pm

      Haha, so true! Thank you for commenting!

  9. August 28, 2016 / 9:16 am

    Haha love this. I have definitely said all of these things. My boy loves the little ducks song too!xx #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:31 pm

      Thank you for commenting Wendy and thank you for sharing on Twitter! x

  10. August 28, 2016 / 2:01 pm

    Oh , poo, an endless topic of conversation . In a public toilet with my daughter – she does a poo – looks at it (of course) and says , repeatedly , we don’t eat poo, we don’t eat poo. Sure I heard sniggers from outside #forthoveofblog

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:30 pm

      Hahaha! Good, solid advice to be fair! THank you for commenting! x

  11. August 29, 2016 / 7:58 pm

    Ha. Why do kids want to drink the bath water?! #mg

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 29, 2016 / 8:27 pm

      Thank you for your comment! I have absolutely no idea?! x

  12. August 29, 2016 / 10:22 pm

    Hahahaha…. I used to talk about poo all the time – colour, texture, how often, too little, too much….it’s absolutely crazy looking back now. I used to tell mine not to drink the pool water when we went swimming – not that baby listened anyway. But a mom’s got to do what she’s got to do! Thanks for making me laugh. #mg

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment! Yes, the swimming pool water is another one! x

  13. August 30, 2016 / 4:14 am

    hehehe so true, oh my gosh don’t roll in the poo!!! Too late! #mg

  14. August 30, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    all of these are spot on….wait until they are two and three and then do a follow up to this….the shit that comes out of your mom is gonna get EVEN STRANGER!

    #chucklemums

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:40 pm

      I think I’ll have to! Thank you for your comment! x

  15. August 30, 2016 / 4:24 pm

    All very true. I’ve spent for too much of the last 27 months talking about poo!! #chucklemums

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      Thank you for commenting!

  16. August 30, 2016 / 6:37 pm

    Yes yes yes to all of these! The utter garble that comes out of my mouth now is unreal!? (And generally very inappropriate!) My eldest (nearly 4) shouted me to tell me that the littlest one (nearly 2) needed his face wiping in the next room while I was clearing up after breakfast this morning. My answer to which was “Is it breakfast or bogies?” I mean really? Does it matter?? I need to have a word with myself! Very funny post. Thanks so much for joining us at #fartglitter! Hope to see you again next week. Dawn x

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      Hahaha, breakfast or bogies! It’s because you have to pick your battles – probably what is most likely to be smeared on the sofa! x

  17. August 30, 2016 / 8:20 pm

    At the moment my favourite is ‘stop playing with it, it’ll drop off’. He’s been a fan since he was about 4m old… Seriously. And taking about wee and poo only gets worse when you’re toilet training. What a treat! #chucklemums

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:37 pm

      Thank you for commenting! Yes! It must be a boy thing…

  18. August 30, 2016 / 8:24 pm

    Haha – all of these made me nod in recognition! My standard one which I HATE saying but can’t seem to help myself is “really really quick quick”, as if saying something twice makes it more likely to have the desired effect?! Thanks for linking to #Chucklemums!

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:36 pm

      Thank you for your comment! Haha, and alot of emphasis the second ‘really’ and the second ‘quick’! x

  19. August 30, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    These are all so true! We have so many conversations about poo in our house. Our little girl is 21 months and I still ask my husband almost every night to check if she’s breathing normally! I can’t see that stopping any time soon! #chucklemums

  20. August 30, 2016 / 8:55 pm

    All true! ‘Is he still breathing?’ was asked all the time even with one of those sensor monitors!

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:34 pm

      Thank you! I’m glad that’s not just me! x

  21. August 30, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    (I forgot, #chucklemums)

  22. August 30, 2016 / 9:08 pm

    My personal favourite is “aw who’s a cheeky little boy?”

    I think if I said that to my other half, it’d be half way through an argument when he’s getting on my nerves.

    Great post, I loved it 😊

    http://mumconventional.blogspot.com

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      August 31, 2016 / 8:34 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment. Yes, I say that regularly. And ‘What are you doing?!’ to my seven-month-old, as if he’s going to reply to me! x

  23. September 1, 2016 / 2:34 am

    Ah, yes. I must have said Yummy of ryour tummy a million times now. Another of my favorite lines- “I know you did not just say that to me!” #momsterslink

    • September 1, 2016 / 2:35 am

      OMG. Can you tell how tired I am? I meant Yummy to your tummy. Ugh.

      • Now my Name is Mummy
        September 4, 2016 / 7:32 pm

        Haha, I read it as to your tummy anyway! I’m just as tired! Thank you for commenting! x

  24. September 1, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    Ha ha – before I became a parent I had no idea how much time I would spend discussing poo!
    Thank you for joining #chucklemums

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 4, 2016 / 7:30 pm

      Haha! I know! No one warns you do they?! Thank you for commenting! x

  25. September 1, 2016 / 11:32 pm

    Oh yes, the things we hear coming out of out mouths once we become parents! At one point my husband and I were trying to keep track of them all.

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 4, 2016 / 7:30 pm

      Thank you for commenting. I think I’ll do another in a year, see what else has been added! x

  26. September 12, 2016 / 5:52 pm

    It’s been 6 1/2 years since I was a first time mom and having 3 babies in 25 months (none of which are twins) I swear that whole first phase was just a blur to me. Luckily I have video and pictures to remind me. I only had one luckily that took the diaper off and decorated the nursery with poo. I was in serious disinfect mode that day. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink.

    • Now my Name is Mummy
      September 16, 2016 / 10:05 pm

      Thank you! And thank you for hosting! x

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