15 things every new parent knows.

I used to love reading ’10 things…’ lists in Glamour (or is it Cosmo?!). Anyway….. I though I’d give my own a bash, with an extra 5 for good measure.

1. You’ll learn to survive on such little sleep that five hours of uninterrupted slumber feels like you’ve won the sleep lottery. You also start to wonder how much more productive your life would’ve been had you spent less time getting your eight hours in all the years before baby.

2. But at the same time you’ll feel like screaming at childless friends who complain they’re tired. No one knows tiredness like you at that very moment. Not that it’s s competiton obviously…

3. No matter how stressful that day might have been, when the baby goes to sleep you’ll miss them. Actually heart-hurts miss them.

4. Because when you have a child you experience such indescribable, protective, intense love that nothing else matters as long as they’re happy.

5. You’ll learn all kinds of new lingo from parenting forums which you’ll look to for advice on anything and everying. I’m taking DS, DD, OH, TTC to name a few.

6. You’ll run around like a ninja trying to get as many household jobs done while making as little noise as possible during nap time. The point at which you decide to sit down with a warm drink is the point baby wakes up. Everytime.

7. The little time you have alone with your partner you spend talking about, or looking at pictures of your beautiful little creation. All the while missing them – see number 3.

8. You say you won’t become one of those people who’s favourite subject is their children. But you can’t help it. Because, you know… CUTE!

9. While you’re completely grossed out by bodily fluids, your little ones poo, wee, sick doesn’t bother you an inch. I’m not the only one who’s rubbed spit up into my jeans am I? Thought not.

10. You find that baby brain is in fact not a myth. It’s very real. You realise this while you’re out for lunch and your friend phones to say she’s on her way around for your pre arranged cake date. Which you’d completely forgotten about and gone for lunch. I already said that didn’t I?

11. Going to bed when you’re still room sharing becomes a military operation. One awry plump of the pillow or creak of the mattress can a crying babe make.

12. You gain a new appreciation for simple things. Understanding how a baby sees the world, taking everying in for the first time makes you notice things you’d never noticed before and it’s fascinating.

13. Once your baby has given you their first laugh, 99% of your time will be spent trying to make them laugh again. Because it is the best sound in the world.

14. You begin to embrace a slower pace of life. Where you may have previously crammed multiple errands, breakfast lunch and dinner dates into a Saturday, now you’re lucky if you achieve a trip to the supermarket. But you quite like it.

15. Despite experiencing the worst pain of your life, the moment you hold your newborn in your arms for the first time is like no other. And you’d do anything to be able to live it again.

Do you have any to add to the list?

You Baby Me Mummy