This weeks guest post comes from the amazing Rachel from The Illustrated Teacup. I could really relate to this post and found it so comforting to find another mum who’s gone through a similar experience to me regarding a topic I’m still personally emotional about. I hope it comforts others in the same way…
Being a mum is both unbelievably hard and overwhelmingly amazing all at once. There are moments where you feel like you might go crazy and completely lose your mind, and overs where you can’t quite put into words how much you love that little kid in your arms.
Every single day is a challenge, and every single day you battle with your conscience and the dreaded but always lingering mum guilt.
For me, the biggest guilt came when I decided to stop exclusively breastfeeding at three weeks. I was struggling with the demand of a newborn who wanted to feed every couple of hours including all night long. Along with the lack of sleep, I was sore and in pain from a bad latch, and even when it was corrected it was still difficult. I was also developing anxiety about feeding in public at a rapid rate which made me feel closed off and alone.
But how could I take away the thing that my little boy needed, and everyone says ‘breast is best’? So the mum guilt kicked in. I wanted to stop, but also didn’t all at the same time. I’d cry through every feed, and then more afterwards, beating myself up and making myself more upset. I was missing seeing my son grow up and develop.
Eventually after more mum guilt, I spoke to family, friends and some amazing mum bloggers on Twitter. They helped lift the mum guilt. There is a huge amount of support out there as long as you can show that all you want to do is what is best for you and your family. I talked and messaged, I shared my guilty feelings. And do you know what? I realised that it doesn’t matter how you feed that baby of yours, so long as they are fed and they are happy and healthy.
I’ve since combination fed until 9 weeks, and now Henry is on formula full time because my supply naturally dried up. I feel happy with how the two months went, and how we feed now.
I’m sure I’ll experience the mum guilt again when he hits six months and the BLW vs puree debate hits, but this time around, and for any future babies, I’m going to remind myself that it doesn’t really matter how you do it so long as it’s safe, healthy and right for you and your kid.
Thank you so much to Rachel for such a great post. You can find Rachel here….
Blog – http://www.illustratedteacup.com/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/RachelAnne_Bee
Pinterest – http://www.pinterest.com/racheybaby89/
Instagram – http://instagram.com/rachelanne_bee